For Caitlin

I can never focus,
so many things on my brain.
I try to sit and watch a movie.
But all I do is stare at the screen.

My eyes wander all around the room,
I think about the things going on in my life.
I catch a glimpse of the movie.

I look over at the fish tank.
My mind wanders to when I was 8,
and I tried to save a fish from the state fair.

Back to the movie.
I can't focus.

I hear a noise outside,
my eyes search for the source.
A fat squirrel glares at me from a tree.
He must be having a bad day as well.

One last time, I look at the screen,
The movie is half way over,
all I've gotten from it is that there are two characters,
their probably in love, its probably a happy movie.

I turn it off, because I can't stand happy movies.
Not today, not this week,
maybe i'll feel better later.

Yeah, later..

A boat

The boat hovered 30 feet, in the middle of a massive lake.
If we sank, would you swim, or would you float next to me
caressing  me with your body.
We sit atop in a massive cushioned seat
 your naked body near me
I stoke your chest, with my thumb and index finger.
I try to stay in the moment, but the massive glowing stars are diverting my attention.
we make love, with passion and understanding.
I let out a sigh, and we fall asleep, hand in hand,
bodies intertwined.
I dream glowing colors, and non-existent shapes.
But your face still remains
hiding behind these fluttering eyelids.

Hot nights

Pieces of you, lying next to me.
The sweat from this hot summer night, gliding down my face.
I'm thinking of you, but are you thinking of me?
You're touching my body, but are you really near me..

Lost. Again

I don't feel anything.
Am I here?
Or is my mind

                                               Over there.

Lost in a sea of thought.

A zombie lost in the array of drugs.

stars

Its been a long day.
I rest my body on the cold, hard ground.
And look up and the illuminating stars.
Shining bright, constantly.
I can't even think things through.
So I just look up, and let my mind go blank.

sad life

oh, how unoriginal to be thinking thoughts,
that everyone else in this god forsaken place are thinking.
To wear the same shirt as 9 other people in this room.
To say the same words, and text the same emojis.
How unoriginal to live a life, that's not your own.
telling me how to live my life.
Hairstyles,
sneakers.
Latest fashion trends.
It must be sad to live such a boring life.
so
very sad

Storm

I want to explore the deepest darkest parts of your mind
and reassure you everything will be just fine.
Your ocean of tears, and quivering hands.
I'll hold you tighter, and hum away your fears.
Let the storm inside, blow away,
and ill help you, move on from
yesterday.